Meaghan's Story
by Katius
Summary: Just me and my friend Rach having fun, don't ask


Meaghan's Story-Intro - 2/17/2001  
Meaghan's Story (*repeated*)FONT FACE="Book Antiqua", arial SIZE=3 COLOR=#000000Fizzy got me a present. I like presents. But anyway enough about the presents. Today is the present. I like presents. I gave rachel a present. woa.okay she got me this journal and its so beautiful and blue and calm and serrenitylike and its so sweet and the first page is just rach telling me how much she loves me (I love her too kind of only when she gives me presents. but yeah lets not tlak about presents again). Anyway...soooo we write on page 2.font color=purpleJANUARY 12, 2001This book is a tribute to RACHEL E---- and KATIE B----'s Sophomore year at ________ High School. Wanna add something Fizz?font color=bluebrWhat to say...our time at this school is short, but we need to make the best of our time. This story is our weird, twisted idea of fun. brENJOY!!!brbrfont color=purpleAnd remember. Cheese=good.brCatapulting lobsters stealing tacos=bad.funny.!!!Meaghan's Story-I - 2/17/2001  
FONT FACE="Book Antiqua", arial SIZE=3 COLOR=#000000font color=purpleJeff and Meaghan stood holding hands at the beach. Her long, blond hair and light blue eyes were so different than his nearly black curls and dark eyes.font color=blueAll of a sudden, a crazy peacock came running out from the trees. Seeing this peacock made them see that what they were doing was just plain uwrong/u.font color=purple"You know what I've always wanted to do?"Meaghan said softly. Jeff smiled and asked, "What?" Suddenly a starfish landed on his face, sticking on. "That." she muffled her hysterical laughter.font color=blue Jeff pulled and pulled but could not get the seastar off. Suddenly, a reporter walking by in a lime green and orange suit took a picture.font color=purple He was wearing a mask so Meg asked, "Who are you?" The reporter removed his mask and rushed over, "It's me! Christian! I've missed you so much!"font color=blueSuddenly he began to melt. When he had gone through the whole "I'm melting! I'm melting!" Meg ran over with a Spork and Frying Pan and began picking up the puddle.font color=purple Jeff's fiance appeared in a *POOF* of purple smoke. "Can I play with the puddle with you?" she asked. "Yep." Meg said. font color=blue They started playing in the puddle but soon it was gone. "What do we do now?" asked Meg.font color=purple "Let's go flying, do you like flying?"Fiance asked. "Why don't you go ahead and do that. I have to return some video tapes so my debt doesnt get higher." "Kay." Fiance said and took off with Jeff to never never land, or, the moon. font color=blue Meg went along and skipped to the video store. When she got to the sliding door, it would not open. She jumped up and down, moved all over the place. "Why won't this stoopid thing open??" She started banging on the door. "OPEN UP! I NEED A MOVIE!" font color=purple The nice guy at the counter mouthed something to her. "What is he trying to tell me?" she thought. Finally she understood. "TURN THE DOORKNOB".Meaghan's Story II - 2/17/2001  
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font color=blueShe looked down. There was a doorknob. She turned five different shades of red. She turned the knob and went it. After paying her bill, she walked and picked up a movie. "Attack of the Flying Toasters and Gooey Cheese." she read. "Sounds like a good movie." She walked over and rented it. She got home and put the movie in. Once the movie started, flying toasters and gooey cheese came flying out of the TV and were spinning around the room! "Oh No!" she screamed. font color=purple She began panicking so she called up Katie and Rachel. "Katie and Rachel you're writing this story so make the toasters stop!" Katie and Rachel laughed. "No!" Rach said. "Why?" Katie yelled into the phone, "You scarred us! www.punchbug.net We're getting REVENGE!"font color=blue Meg put down the phone. She sat down on her couch and tried to think. At that point the doorbell rang. "Who on earth could that be?" she wondered. She went to the door and there was a mailbag on her Welcome Mat. "What the...?!" she started. Then without warning the mailperson popped out of the bag. Letters went everywhere. font color=purple"Here you go," the malelady handed Meg a letter. Meg said "Go Away" and she did. Meg opened up the letter. "TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN: TO GET RID OF EVOL TOASTERS AND CHEESE SPIN AROUND, CACKLE, GET A MOP FROM THE JANITORS CLOSET, AND TAP IT ON YOUR HEAD THREE TIMES. THEN MAKE NACHOS." Meg took a deep breath to calm her fear, then took one step towards the janitor's closet where her biggest fears lived. font color=blue She reached out to open the door. This time she knew to turn the knob. She couldn't, she ran back, took another deep breath, and went back. She opened the door. There was a vast room ahead of her. With a deep breath she walked in.font color=blackMeaghan's Story III - 2/17/2001  
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font color=purpleSuddenly she was blinded by a bright light. She shielded her eyes. "Sam?" she asked. "Is that you? Take off that super-reflective vest!" Sam took it off and the light ended. "So, we finally discovered where YOU go every day." Meaghan screamed. "Nooooo! My secret will not get out!" Sam tried to shield himself, but the pudding his teacher threw seeped into his skin in a long, painful process. As Sam slowly tunred chocolate, Meaghan opened her mouth wid,e revealing two silver fangs. She gorged into Sam's exposed neck. Soon she fed on his blood that had turned into minty creme filling from her chocolate pudding/turning-kids-into-junior-mints mixture. When she finished she let the body drop, lifelessly, to the ground. She looked around, panicked, and searched for another human so she could feed again.font color=blue She woke up. She found herself in a cold sweat. "Had it all just been a dream?" shet hought. She looked at the clock. 3:00 she read. "Wow, it was all just a dream." she thought. She sat up in bed, "What could all that have meant?" she looked over her shoulder, her boyfriend was sound asleep. She reached over and picked up the remote and turned on the TV. She knew she was not going to get any sleep for the rest of the night, so she figured she could watch infomercials. Soon there that stupid Cleo lady came on. She decided that she would call. "Hello, is this Cleo?" Meg asked.   
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Meaghan's Story IV - 2/17/2001  
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font color=purple"Yes, this is Cleo. Your name is Meaghan E. font color=black(her last name, kept private for duh psycho online people)font color=purple and you're 28 years old." Meg was in shock. "How do you know that?" Cleo sighed. "Cos I'm the psycho, er, phsycic." Meg squealed with delight. "Psycho? Like American Psycho?" "No!" Cleo snapped. And remember this call is costing you $1.95 for the first minute and $.95 for each additional minute." "Oh dear," Meg said. "Well hurry up and tell me something cool." After a moment of silence Cleo finally spoke, "Well, if you look to your left you'll se someone familiar." Meaghan slowly turned around. As her eyes adjusted to the darkness, she froze. The phone dropped to the ground. Suddenly the person's face registered. "SAM!" she screamed bloody murder.br* * * * *br"Meaghan, Meaghan wake up!" Meg opened her eyes to see Heinrich, Hank, Henry, or HB. "Honey, are you okay?" Meaghan looked to her left and sighed with relief. No Sam.font color=blue Thank god!!" she thought to herself. Her boyfrined looked at her. "Meg, are you okay?" She threw her arms around him. "Oh Hank, I have ad the wrost dreams!!" she said through her tears. "Meg, what was so wrong about your dream that could have scared you so much?" Hank asked her. Meg took her head off of his shoulder and wiped away her tears. "Ummmmmm, well I was on a beach with Je-John! Then I was attacked by gooey cheese, then I kind-of killed a student, then I woke up, or so I thought, then I thought I saw you and Sam with me in the same bed, then I woke up. I guess it's all the correcting of papers I have to do.!!" She sobbed. font color=purpleMeg composed herself then stood up. "I have to return some video tapes." and walked out the door.  
  
Meaghan's Story V - 2/17/2001  
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font color=blueShe closed the door behind her. When she came onto the street she looked up and saw that the sun was just coming up. A flock of birds flew overhead. Meg looked up to see on eof the birds had something in its feet. The bird dropped what it was holding. Meg watched it float down. It landed in her hands. font color=purple The painting was beautiful. Meaghan stood in front of the beautiful, beautiful sunrise carrying the beautiful beautiful painting while a beautiful beautiful flamingo carrying a beautiful beautiful rose flew above. Meaghan thought to herself for a second. "Wait, am I drunk?"font color=blue She ran down the road looking for a mirror to check her pupils. There was no one on the street. "Where is everyone?" Meg said to herself. All of a sudden a deer bounded out in front of her. She had to stop all of a sudden. Meg fell down on her butt. "Owwww! My butt!" Meg screamed. font color=purple The deer stopped and glared at her. "YOUR butt?! I just got catapulted by a freaky human! and what are those? are those COWBOY boots on your feet? While wearing shorts? Jeeze get to the store! Here, take this gift certificate to Lerner and BUY something! Meg burst into tears. But I don't liiiiike Lerner! font color=blue "Yes, these are cowboy boots and shorts, what's wrong with that?" she cried. "It's just that nobody wears stuff like that." the deer told her. "No go to Lerner, they hav egood clothes there." Meg stood up and looked at the deer. All of a sudden a flying lobster carrying a taco in its claw came flying over and landed on the street.  
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Meaghan's Story VI - 2/17/2001  
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font color=purpleKatie and Rachel came barrelling out of the woods. "noooooo!" they both screamed at the top of their lungs. Rachel pounced on the Lobster, grabbing it with both hands. "No!!!!!!! It's mine! You can't get away from me NOW!!" Katie came over and helped Rachel engage in tug-o-war with the lobster. "No way!" Lobster yelled. "It was MINE first!" Soon they began wrestling until the tacoshell broke and the taco went everywhere. Rachel, Fizzy, Katie, the Lobster, and the Deer all turned and glared at Meaghan. "IT'S YOUR FAULT!"font color=blue "What is my fault?' Meg asked. "I don't know what I did to cause all this to happen! All I have done is become a teacher and the next thing I know I have Katie and Rachl in my class and they start writing this crazy story about Me!! I don't know anything anymore..." Meg composed herself. "Katie and Rachel, you're psycho." Meg told them. Katie and Rachel looked at eachother. "Like American Psycho!!" They screamed.font color=purple "YOU!" *angirly points at Rachel and Katie* NEED LIVES! YOU! *angirly points at the deer* Need to go back where you and the antelope play! AND YOU! *points to the lobster* Need to be my friend. Will you be my friend? I don't have any friends. font color=blue The lobster just looked at Meg. "Will you give me a taco??" The lobster asked. "Get your tacos here, nice fresh tacos here!" a taco man came wandering down the street. Meg walked over to the taco man. "How much are the tacos??" she asked. "Three dolla!!" he told her. Meg put her hand in her pocket, when she pulled it out, there was nothing there. She turned to Rachel and Katie. "I'm poor..." she tol dthem. "What do you want us to do about it?" Katie asked.  
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Meaghan's Story VII - 2/17/2001  
font color=purpleMeg sat down on a stump that happened to be there. "I have no money, and I have no friends. I'm so sad." "Meeeaaaaaghaaaaaaan" everyone heard a voice coming from somewhere. "Who's that?" she asked. "Someone just said my name. Slowly a poof of blue smoke appeared. And when it dissappeared, The Wizard of Oz stood there. "Just be glad," he said. "That you're not in Jeff's story. He is suffering." He showed a portal of time blob thingy where it showed her beloved, er, um, hehe, her...coworker, yeah, in a battlefieled surrounded by oreos and evol crayons. Twinkie the Kid lay wounded beside him. "Oh no!!" Meg cried. Katie, Rachel, Lobster, Deer, and Taco Man all gave Meg a hug, and Taco Man gave Meg a free taco. font color=blue "Not Twinkie the Kid!! Anything but that!!" Meg screamed. The wizard walked over and sat next to meg on a folding chair that happened to be there. "Meg..." he said to her. "Everything is going to be all right...remember Katie and Rachel are writing this story, they are not going to let anything bad happen." he told her. "Really??" Meg asked. Rachel stepped forward. "We are just doing this to get even with you for all the times you scarred us..you know what we're talking about." Rachel nodded as she finished her statement. "I didn't do it on purpose!" Meg started to sop. "I didn't mean it, I truly didn't mean to!" she sobbed. In a poof of blue smoke, everyone vanished.font color=purple "Where...where are we?" Meg's voice echoed in the empty space. "It's all black and kind of scary." Somebody lit a match. "Woa, woa!" The Wizard yelled. "No matches, put that out." Rachel grinned evolly, and then blew it out. The Wizard waved his hands and a light showed Rachel, Katie, the Wizard, and Meg in a large, empty floating on air place. "Where are we?" Meg asked. The wizard smiled. "We're in your brain." font color=blue "Why is there all this empty space??" Meg asked. The wizard looked around and then at Meg. "Did you ever wonder why you find things like someone blowing a whole through sticky-tack funny??" he asked her. "I never really thought about it before..." she said. "My point exactly...you need to get out more and stop correcting all those papers that you've been doing..." Meg cut the wizard off. "You think I WANT to correct all those papers?!" Meg asked. Katie and Rachel started laughing. "Yes, why else would you make us do all that work?" Katie asked her. "I have to, or the cleaning products will get me!"  
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Meaghan's Story VIII - 2/17/2001  
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font color=purpleWell, how does my braiin work?" she wondered. "It's easy," Mr. Wizard said (The Wizard of Oz also starred in an 80's TV show on Nickleodeon). "You see, over there, that's your math section, and there, to your right, is your english section. Down the hallway and out the our the door is where your love life lives. And over there's your social studies and science. Do you wnat to visit some place?" Meaghan thought for a second. "Well, how about my English section since I'm an English teacher." Mr. Wizard guided Meg to that area of her brain. "Katie, Rachel, you coming?" he asked. "No," Rach said. "We'll explore on our own."font color=blue Katie and Rachel looked at eachother. An evol grin came on both of their faces. They waited until Meg and Mr. Wizard were out of sight. They both went on a mad dash to the section where her love life lived. They opened the door and walked in. There were pictures of past boyfriends that Meg once had. Katie and Rachel walked around. "Hey , look at this one, what a loser!!" Rachel yelled. Katie stopped in front of one picture. "Who's that?" Rachel asked. font color=purple "Is that..who.. I think it is?!" Katie squinted. "No, no way, it couldn't be." Rachel and Katie both got up close to read "PATRICK BATEMAN" "WAIT A SEC!" Both Rach and Katie freaked. "One minute, she tells us it's real, then, she tells us it's fake, then she says it's all in his head, THEN SHE DATED PATRICK BATEMAN!" They couldnt figure out why she would be as stupid as to go out with the AMERICAN PSYCHO, until finally Katie realized something. "Woa,woa, Rachel you IDIOT! You went into the wrong room! This is the "GUYS I WISH I DATED ROOM." Katie sighed. MEANWHILE BACK WITH MR. WIZARD: "And this is your big word list, and this is your messy handwriting area, and this is the checklist. Meaghan looked at the wizard, puzzled. "Checklist? For what?" The wizard smiled and curled his mustache with is finger. "This tells you how many times you've said a particular word all your life. For instance, 'the' 17, 327,416 times, and 'a' 45, 293,172 times. "What word is that way up top?" she asked. "I don't have my eyes--er, my contacts in." The wizard smiled. "That's fathom." font color=blue Rachel and Katie ran out of the room. Suddenly Rachel stopped and looked at Katie. "It's not Patrick Bateman...it's Christian Bale DUH! I can't believe we were so stoopid." Rachel said to Katie. "What do you mean 'we'?? I knew it all along." Katie said with a smirk on her face. 'No you didnt you idiot!!" Rachel ran over and put Katie in a headlock. "So there!!" she yelled. Katie and Rachel walked into the room of people Meg had dated. In the centre of the room there was a picture of her current boyfriend, Hank.  
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Meaghan's Story IX (last leg) - 2/17/2001  
font color=purple Something about the room made Rachel and Katie stop laughing and kidding around. THey had never met Heinrich, Hank, HB, or Henry, but there was something about the picture besides the big letters on th ebottom that said "HEINRICH BINDBEUTEO" that made them realize this was him. It was especially hard to tell because the picture was blurry, and hard to tell distinct figures. They gazed around the rest of the room at Boyfriends from the Past. All of their portraits were blurry, and hard to see faces. Heinrich's was getting that way too. "Does this mean..?" Rachel wondered quietly. Katie noded solemnly. "I think so." Both of them burst into tears realizing what they had done to the poor woman. "We have to find her." they both said, rushing out the door heading towards the english department. Out of breath they stumbled into her classroom. "Meaghan?"brbrSuddenly Rachel stopped short. "Wait, go back a bit Katie. Her classroom? Did you say her 'classroom'?" Rahcel grabbed the notebook out of Katie's hands. "Out of breath they stumbled back into her classroom." "Yep," she said, looking around the classroom. Katie glanced at the clock. "Hey, lunch has just startd." They stood in the empty room, wondering where Meg had gone. They sat on the table and swung their legs, talking to eachother while they waited. Meg finally walked in, yogurt in hand, "Hey guys, nice to see you since the semester ended." she laughed cheerfully. Rach and Katie looked at eachother. "What do you mean? We just saw you like ten minutes ago...in your brain." Meaghan gave them a weird look. "What are you talking about?" Katie and Rachel looked at eachother again. "The brain. And the tacos, and the lobster, and the gooey cheese..." Meg continued giving them teh weird look. "Huh?" Katie and Rachel looked at eachother, laughing. "Nothing happened! Nothing ever happened!" They were so happy they hadn't ruined her life they didn't notice Mr. Neal walk in. "Meaghan, do you have any idea how long it took me to get that seastar off my face?" They both turned, horrified as Mr. Neal had a star-shaped scar covering his face.brbrbTHE END!  
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